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Doing something active is also ideal for releasing anger. Practice giving yourself comfort: Write a supportive letter to yourself,[url=http://www.huilemielolives.fr/doudounemoncler.asp]doudoune moncler[/url], expressing what an ideal parent would say. Have a warm drink. Studies show this actually elevates your mood. Swaddle your body in a blanket or sheet like a baby. This is soothing and comforting to your body. Do something pleasurable, e.g.,[url=http://www.bessis.com/FR-jordan.html]air jordan[/url], read or watch comedy, look at beauty, walk in nature, sing or dance, create something, or stroke your skin. Pleasure releases chemicals in the brain that counterbalance pain,[url=http://www.sanvahotel.com/michaelkors.html]michael kors outlet[/url], stress, and negative emotions. Discover what pleasures you. (To read more about the neuroscience of pleasure, read my article, “The Healing Power of Pleasure”.) Adults also need to play. This means doing something purposeless that fully engages you and is enjoyable for its own sake. The more active the better, i.e., play with your dog vs. walking him, sing or collect seashells vs. watching television. Play brings you into the pleasure of the moment. Doing something creative is a great way to play, but be cautious not to judge yourself. Remember the goal is enjoyment – not the finished product. Practice complimenting and encouraging yourself – especially when you don’t think you’re doing enough. Notice self-judgment for what it is, and be a positive coach. Remind yourself of what you have done and allow yourself time to rest and rejuvenate. Forgive yourself. Good parents don’t punish children for mistakes or constantly remind them, and they don’t punish willful wrongs repeatedly. Instead, learn from mistakes and make amends when necessary. Keep commitments to yourself as you would anyone else. When you don’t, you’re in effect abandoning yourself. How would you feel if your parent repeatedly broke promises to you. Love yourself by demonstrating that you’re important enough to keep commitments to yourself. Author's Bio: Good parents are also reliable and protective. They keep promises and commitments, provide nourishing food and medical and dental care. They protects their child from anyone who threatens or harms him or her. Self-Nurturing Once grown, you still have these emotional needs. Self-love means meeting them. If fact, it’s each person’s responsibility to be his or her own parent and meet these emotional needs,[url=http://www.tuning-italia.it/woolrichoutlet.asp]woolrich outlet[/url], irrespective of whether you’re in a relationship. Of course, there are times you need support, touch, understanding, and encouragement from others. However, the more you practice self-nurturing, the better your relationships will be. ©Darlene Lancer 2013 A Word of Caution Beware of self-judgment. Remember that feelings aren’t rational. Whatever you feel is okay and it’s okay if you don’t know why you feel the way you do. What is important is acceptance of your feelings and the positive actions you take to nurture yourself. Many people think,[url=http://www.bessis.com/monclerpascher.html]doudoune moncler pas cher[/url], “I shouldn’t be angry (sad, afraid, depressed, etc.). This may reflect judgment they received as a child. Often it’s this unconscious self-judgment that is the cause of irritability and depression. Learn how to combat self-criticism in my ebook, 10 Steps to Self-Esteem, available in online bookstores. All of the things a good mother does, you have the superior capacity to do, for who knows better than you what are your deepest feelings and needs, if only you’d look. Here are some steps you can take: Love Play Respect Encouragement Understanding Acceptance Empathy Comfort Reliability Guidance The Importance of Empathy A child’s thoughts and feelings need to be taken seriously and listened to with respect and understanding. One way of communicating this is by mirroring or reflecting back what he or she is saying expressing. “You’re angry that it’s time to stop playing now.” Instead of judgment, “You shouldn’t be jealous of Cindy’s new friend,” a child needs acceptance and empathic understanding,[url=http://www.azurecurve.co.uk/abercrombieoutlet.html]abercrombie uk[/url], such as: “I know you’re hurt and feel left out by Cindy and her friend.” Empathy is a deeper than intellectual understanding. It’s identification at an emotional level with what the child feels and needs. Of course, it’s equally important that a parent appropriately meet those needs, including giving comfort in moments of distress. 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6 months Get help and support to sustain positive motivation Maintenance - In this stage you have successfully made your changes and are enjoying the benefits You’ve had a few slips and you practice how to get back to a new improved plan that works better each time you revise it You know your danger zones and how to either avoid them or maneuver through them You have help and support when you need it The change seems to sustain itself simply because you feel better and are more happy Tasks: Master the ability to sustain new behavior with minimum effort as a simple part of every day life Be alert to high-risk situations and have a plan to manage them Focus is on lapse prevention You have changed behavior for at least 6 months Adopt a new self-image consistent with desired behavior and lifestyle Feel confident and enjoy the sense of mastery Enjoy a healthier and happier life SoulCollage® : Another tool to speed up the change process What is SoulCollage On the surface SoulCollage is a fun collage process that anyone can do On a deeper level when you work with imagery through journaling and psychotherapy it provides you direct access to your unconscious both the wise and the shadowy parts that seldom have a clear voice in your every day lives Everyone has parts you see and parts you don’t see You notice this when you say something brilliant that dazzles you with its clarity and insight Or it can be that slip of the tongue that makes you cringe with embarrassment as it slips past your editor The territory between your conscious and unconscious minds may be the source of many of your problems or limitations and it may hold buried treasure In SoulCollage both the conscious and unconscious take part in card making And these collages appear simple when you look you’ll find deeper meaning when you invite the cards to speak up SoulCollage makes it easier to find these parts listen to them and better yet use them to be more creative resourceful and think-out-side-of-the-box problem solvers As a tool to explore the psyche we can consult the different parts of ourselves like having a council meeting SoulCollage helps us include all these parts bring them to the table and like a compassionate CEO invite them to speak up but not run the board Using SoulCollage can speed up your progress by working with the parts of you that resists change: Shadow Material Imagine finding the culprit inside who thinks you’ll never succeed Or the part who believes changes is impossible Or the part who’s trying to solve a different concern using the “problem behavior” You may be mistaking yourself for these different points of view inside you Meeting the “story” that each card tells with compassion can accelerate your progress through the stages of change SoulCollage can also improve your self-confidence and hope when you meet the wise and healthy parts of you Imagine meeting the One who is the engine of change ready to get to work filled with enthusiasm and confidence Yes this part still lives in you It might even be fun Contact me to set up a consultation Suzie@suziewolfercom or 503-224-3318 Author's Bio: Contemplation Stage ? my two boys, when she is feeling a particular emotion, which is now costing the schools lives and the business world big bucks, as hard as t6hat is to see, especially on girls names,air jordan, For the bills that fluctuate such as cable and cell phone. 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