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I did this by going to a support group and then later running a branch of this group in Santa Monica. But after three years or so, I really wasn't identifying so much with the grieving mothers anymore. In fact, my two good friends from this original group had also given birth to their babies and were themselves busy caring for their infants. It does sound kind of weird, that our identity of these losses can be comforting and we often don't want to let this comfort go. As my friend Dana said, "Moving on is like having another loss." It's both a bitter, sad, despairing feeling and also a memory of the fact that there was a person or identity back then. It's difficult to describe in words for me, but the one word that keeps coming to me is "bittersweet." 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